A great deal of my focus at Integrative Wellness Solutions (IWS) and in my own personal life is managing the ongoing and chronic stress of life. As a working mother of three children, a child with a significant disability and associated health issues, my own health issues as I am getting older, my parents aging and health issues, my husband, and managing a household, I sometimes feel overwhelmed and depleted.
I realize my life is like many others out there. My girlfriends, neighbors and relatives are juggling just as much as I do on a daily basis. We are all really overloaded. But what I have come to realize is that while we are all feeling the level of intensity of life these days, we do have some control over how we live our lives. If we just take some time to slow down...to be still....to think...or not to think...we will realize what we are missing and what we need. We will gain some clarity over how we are leading our lives, and what aspects we might want or need to change.
After living life for many years as an isolated special needs mom, going to work and caring for the kids, with very little energy or vitality for life, I found I was going through the motions for everyone else who needed me, but never for myself. This was not me, nor the life I wanted. Yes, I was depressed. But, I knew that my depression was based in my situation. What I needed was some motivation, some change in perspective to begin to change things in my life. I knew that my life was not fulfilling me, and that I needed to do something about it. My turning point came for me about 5 years ago.
It started with 10 minute walks, and taking long baths at night. It was the beginning of my "me time". Then I decided to see a psychologist, and begin to make appointments with doctor's to assess my own health. I, then, learned I had high blood pressure, so I joined a gym and began taking classes and walking on the treadmill. I enjoyed the steam room and the friendliness of the people I was meeting at the gym. After years of chronic stress, I gained weight, and the cortisol deposited right around the area where it's so hard to lose...my belly. I immersed myself in learning about nutrition and healthy eating. I introduced meditation as a practice I do daily that has helped reduce my stress significantly. I found myself loving what I was learning and decided to enroll in a course to become certified in holistic approaches to health...and here I am.
I share this progression of the choices and decisions I made along the way to show you how it started off as "baby steps" and built momentum. Deciding that I was not happy, and feeling unfulfilled was the beginning. But, the biggest step for me was deciding I was going to begin to do something about it. I knew that this was not what I wanted for my life, nor what I had envisioned for my life in my earlier, youthful years. I knew my energy and spirit was low, and this vibe was being felt by all I encountered, especially my kids and my husband. I knew that I had always put everyone else's needs and wants first, but that I needed some time to put myself first and renew my connection with who I am as an individual. It was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family.
I share all of this to encourage parents of children with special needs to find your "me time" or your "we time" with your partner. The demands of children can be great, especially when they have special needs. But it is so important to remember to carve out time for your self to nurture and sustain your energy and desire for living, loving and growing.
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