WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH!

Most of us know that oldie but a goodie saying, "When The Going Gets Tough, The Tough Get Going." Wow, this brings back memories from childhood. It was a common quote or phrase used when I was growing up. While so simple, and seemingly basic, it inspires so much motivation and wisdom. It's not so much that one has to be a "tough" person or exhibit some kind of "tough" persona, but rather what we all muster up within ourselves when we need to survive, be resilient, endure, rise to the occasion, make life-altering decisions, or ride the current of life. 

I read a recent blog post that inspired the idea in me to take the quote, "When the going gets tough..." and think about all the things one could or would do to finish off the quote. Or, to think about how you would respond, when the going gets tough. You can even turn it into a game!

 How many ways can you change this old saying?  Here are a few ideas:

When the going gets tough…the professional/grown-up gets help.

How many times have I seen this situation.  There’s a big mess, and someone will hunker down and try to figure it out or resolve it themselves.  They’re like an angry child protecting a toy yelling, “mine!  Get away!”  There are a couple of things going on here.  You’ve got a control freak who thinks they’re smarter than everyone else and if we’d all just leave them alone, they’d fix it. Or someone who feels that if the problem comes to light, they’ll get blamed for it and they don’t want anyone to see.  Either way, you’re dealing with someone who cares more about being right than getting a good result.  Grownups know that a team pulling together without big egos can produce much more powerful results than a single person or a really small team working off in a corner on their own.  Yes, it might take more effort to coordinate across a bigger group, and yes, compromises may be required.  But the outcome will almost always be a stronger, longer lasting, and more widely accepted solution.

When the going gets tough…it’s time to follow your gut and heart.

When things aren’t going well and we feel besieged, often we try to ‘think’ our way through.  We re-examine the evidence, pour over our well-laid plans, look at the numbers, and try to plot the logical route through the minefield.  In an effort to come up with the answers, we sometimes forget to check in with our best on-site consultants, our gut and our heart.  Creative answers don’t always lie in the data.  Sometimes what a situation calls for is a dose of intuition.  I speak with so many clients who have decades of experience, yet they doubt the ingrained inner knowing that has accumulated over the years.  Listening to your gut can yield some great out-of-the box creative thinking.  In some circumstances if you slow down, breath, and listen to your heart, that voice of truth will tell you that the situation or path you’re on doesn’t fit your life anymore.  It’s time to make a change, and whatever problem you’re trying to solve is not the real problem.  People seldom arrive at that moment of truth through thinking – it’s something they need to feel. 

When the going gets tough…it’s time to laugh.

One of my most endearing and beloved memories of the time my Dad died was how we, as a family, found and enjoyed humor up to the end.  Waiting in the pre-op area of the hospital before the surgery to remove my Dad’s esophagus (He had esophageal cancer.), Dad joked, “what am I doing?  I feel fine.  I don’t have any symptoms.”  When his surgeon, the epitome of cranky bedside manner, came in to chat, Dad repeated this comment.  His surgeon, with an absolute deadpan face and voice said, “then we’re gonna give you some. “ Mom, Dad, and I laughed so hard.  I think other people in the area thought we were nuts.  Were we running away from how scared we were feeling?  Perhaps, but it helped me deal with what turned out to be one of the last conversations with my father.  I love it that we laughed at such a time.

My Turning Point: Finding "Me" Again

A great deal of my focus at Integrative Wellness Solutions (IWS) and in my own personal life is managing the ongoing and chronic stress of life.  As a working mother of three children, a child with a significant disability and associated health issues, my own health issues as I am getting older, my parents aging and  health issues, my husband, and managing a household, I sometimes feel overwhelmed and depleted.

I realize my life is like many others out there. My girlfriends, neighbors and relatives are juggling just as much as I do on a daily basis.  We are all really overloaded. But what I have come to realize is that while we are all feeling the level of intensity of life these days, we do have some control over how we live our lives. If we just take some time to slow down...to be still....to think...or not to think...we will realize what we are missing and what we need. We will gain some clarity over how we are leading our lives, and what aspects we might want or need to change.

For some of us, it's not until we go to the doctor (after neglecting or prolonging addressing our own health) and we're told that we have high blood pressure, or that our cholesterol is high...or that we have diabetes, that we awaken to the need to make some lifestyle changes. I must admit, I am guilty of coming by my awakening this way too!

After living life for many years as an isolated special needs mom, going to work and caring for the kids, with very little energy or vitality for life, I found I was going through the motions for everyone else who needed me, but never for myself.  This was not me, nor the life I wanted. Yes, I was depressed. But, I knew that my depression was based in my situation.  What I needed was some motivation, some change in perspective to begin to change things in my life.  I knew that my life was not fulfilling me, and that I needed to do something about it. My turning point came for me about 5 years ago.

It started with 10 minute walks, and taking long baths at night.  It was the beginning of my "me time". Then I decided to see a psychologist, and begin to make appointments with doctor's to assess my own health.        I, then, learned I had high blood pressure, so I joined a gym and began taking classes and walking on the treadmill. I enjoyed the steam room and the friendliness of the people I was meeting at the gym.  After years of chronic stress, I gained weight, and the cortisol deposited right around the area where it's so hard to lose...my belly.  I immersed myself in learning about nutrition and healthy eating.  I introduced meditation as a practice I do daily that has helped reduce my stress significantly. I found myself loving what I was learning and decided to enroll in a course to become certified in holistic approaches to health...and here I am.

I share this progression of the choices and decisions I made along the way to show you how it started off as "baby steps" and built momentum.  Deciding that I was not happy, and feeling unfulfilled was the beginning. But, the biggest step for me was deciding I was going to begin to do something about it. I knew that this was not what I wanted for my life, nor what I had envisioned for my life in my earlier, youthful years. I knew my energy and spirit was low, and this vibe was being felt by all I encountered, especially my kids and my husband. I knew that I had always put everyone else's needs and wants first, but that I needed some time to put myself first and renew my connection with who I am as an individual. It was the best thing I could have done for myself and my family.

I share all of this to encourage parents of children with special needs to find your "me time" or your "we time" with your partner. The demands of children can be great, especially when they have special needs. But it is so important to remember to carve out time for your self to nurture and sustain your energy and desire for living, loving and growing.

Nature: One of The Most Powerful Stress-Relievers

"The Natural Way to Calm Down" is by being active and involved in nature, according to Prevention Magazine. 

"Researchers are discovering that surrounding yourself with nature can be one of the most powerful stress-relievers out there. 

In a recent study published in the journal Landscape and Urban Planning, scientists measured the levels of the stress hormone cortisol in 25 healthy adults in Scotland and asked them to fill out questionnaires about what stresses them out at home and at work. They then compared that information to the number of parks, woodlands, and other natural environments in each participant's zip code.

Those who lived in the areas with the most amount of green space had lower levels of cortisol, and their self-reported feeling of stress were lower than those who spent more time in urban settings.  

So what’s behind this—are people getting buzzed on the scent of freshly cut grass? 

Turns out, that’s not as crazy as it sounds. When it comes to alleviating stress, there's just something about being in our natural element that's hard to beat, says lead study author Catharine Ward Thompson, director of the OPENspace Research Centre at the University of Edinburgh in Scotland. 

Wide open spaces mean more opportunities to boost your health. For one thing, getting outside forces you to get a little exercise, and exercise is the best natural mood booster there is. For another, being out and about makes you more likely to encounter neighbors and friends, and social contact is another no-fail way to cut stress, says Thompson. 

Bing a city dweller doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a happiness deficit. It just means you might need to make more of an effort get your nature fix, such as walking through that park on your way to work. "Take advantage of opportunities to visit a green space as often as possible, even if only for five minutes, to help enhance your wellbeing and reduce your stress levels," says Thompson.

And five minutes outside is all it takes get the mood-boosting effect, according to a 2010 study in the journal Environmental Science & Technology. Researchers found that people experienced the largest boosts to their mood and self-esteem after just spending five minutes outside doing some form of light exercise, like walking.

Need some ideas for getting more nature into your life? Try these: 

Do anything you'd normally do inside, outside. Move your daily yoga sessions to your back porch, or do your taxes online while sitting on your patio taking in the breeze. Eat outside, or trade the treadmill for a run on a trail. 

Get your afternoon pick-me-up from a walk, not your coffee. Instead of your usual afternoon java hit—and the jitters that come with it—talk a quick stroll around the outside perimeter of your office building.

Schedule moving meetings. Professors at the George Warren Brown School of Social Work at Washington University in St. Louis came up with the idea of "Meetings on the Move" to get office workers out from behind their desks. Replacing a conventional sit-down meeting with an outdoor walk-and-talk not only gives you the benefit of exercise; the change of scenery can spur more creative ideas."

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from Prevention Magazine, "The Natural Way to Calm Down", article by Emily Main
Read more: http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/spending-time-outside-relieves-stress#ixzz2bmNNl1FS

Read more: http://www.prevention.com/mind-body/emotional-health/spending-time-outside-relieves-stress#ixzz2bmNDNlDF

How Nature and the Sun Help Get Rid of Stress

How to Eliminate Stress with Nature and Sun

Nature and sunlight provide us with beauty, energy, vitamin synthesis, and clean, fresh air. In nature we have chance to relax and release our stress to the open air. Below are a few ideas to get you into the natural flow of things. The list is by no means exhaustive, only some really simple ideas that can easily get you started.

• You don't have to be a jogger or swimmer or even a walker. You just have to be outside and you are doing good things for your body and your spirit.
• Take your meditation times outside. Experience the magic of nature and let the sunlight work in your body. You know, 20 minutes in the sun will cause your body to manufacture vitamin D naturally, which is necessary for your good health.
• When you're outside, walking to the store, work or to a neighbor's house, take time to notice the trees, leaves, plants, animals along the way. When was the last time you were stopped in your tracks by a lovely spider web, or the things that insects do? Be open; let it take you for a moment. As it does, you can feel your stress passing out of you.
• Putting a birdfeeder in your backyard is a way of inviting birds to come and be present with you.
• You can take up gardening or landscaping. While you're gardening, you may want to consider planting a vegetable garden. Organic fruit and vegetables are the healthiest produce to eat. And what better way to interact with nature!
• If you find that you spend much of your time indoors, bring nature in with you. Bring a water fountain inside to bring you close to nature. The natural sound of moving water can relieve stress easily.
• Indoor plants are beneficial relieving stress in several ways:
• There are kinds that can cleanse the air you're breathing
• Caring for plants, like gardening, is a therapeutic, soothing activity
• Salt lamps are designed to increase negative ions in the air and this enhances your relaxed, calm sense of being.
• Nature sounds on compact discs are developed with the understanding that nature is critical to stress relief. If you cannot be in it, you can use these sounds to recall the experiences of being in nature and sun. At your desk, or wherever you choose, close your eyes, listen and breathe deeply and for a few minutes work can be a distant memory.
• What does your desktop and screensaver look like? Try putting up pictures of nature and in your times between activities you can briefly drift off into nature.

REFERENCES

1. Information taken from http://stress.about.com/od/generaltechniques/a/gardening.htm

1. http://www.mkprojects.com/fa_meditation.html
2. Dr. Edward Group at www.globalhealthcenter.com

Finding Peace and Healing Through Art

In both creating art or appreciating the art forms we can experience wonderful, therapeutic ways to find peace, relax our mind, de-stress, express ourselves, and strengthen our spiritual connection. Art is for everyone and anyone. Even if you are not necessarily artistically-inclined, you can still create what is on your heart and in your spirit. It's a great release and a reflection of what you embody at any point in time. 

Go Ahead, Create....

6 Tips for Balancing Your Career with Your Child's Special Needs

6 Tips for Balancing Your Career with Your Child's Special Needs 

Balancing your career with your child's special needs is surely not easy.  Here are 6 Tips for what to consider as a working parent, or re-entering the workforce,  that still enables you to continue to meet the special needs of your child:

1. Don't Be Afraid to Change Your Career - it may be the best option for many parents, and may also lead you into doing something you more enjoy or better suits your interests. 

2. Recognize That Your Work Is One of Your Child's Needs - "a note of caution to parents about putting all their efforts into special needs parenting to the exclusion of all else. Some questions to consider: Can you really live well (in all respects) if you are completely dedicated to your child? If you give up your career for your child's needs, will you resent your child? If your child doesn't respond to your care, treatments, or love, will you feel that you've given up too much? If you quit your job, will you be utterly isolated? Think about your needs and your child's needs, not just in terms of time, but also in terms of money, sanity, self-esteem, and peace of mind."

3. Value the Distraction that Work Provides - while there are many things that may distract you from work, the opposite holds true, as well. Working can be therapeutic. It's an opportunity to take you away from your child's problems or school,  for a portion of your day. It can actually help you be a better parent!

4. Coordinate Your Work Schedule to Your Child's -  coordinating work hours around your child's school schedule or sleep schedule might provide you with the time to balance both work and parenting. Seek opportunities with employers that offer remote and/or flexible work scheduling.

5. Appreciate How Work and Parenting Skills Overlap - "particularly if you've found work in a field related to your child's special needs, your work skills can benefit your child while your experience as a parent deepens your work understanding."

6. Remember to Take Care of Yourself - balancing work and your child's needs is hard enough - it's easy to forget to leave time for yourself.. Eat healthy meals, get enough rest/sleep, exercise to manage stress and stay fit.

3 Simple (and economical) Methods to Clear Away Negative Emotions and Toxins

from Thrive Living...

Detoxification need not be something to dread as an expensive, complicated and exhausting ordeal. A few quick daily habits can flush out physical and emotional toxins gently and easily. Air, water and a brush are the magical trio that encourage a healthy body, sparking mind and balanced emotions.

Breathe

Breathing usually is not something we think about since it comes so naturally. But a majority of people really don't breathe correctly, especially in our fast paced world. The breath tends to be constricted, shallow and stressed. This style of breathing deprives us of much needed oxygen -- contributing to brain fog, fatigue and accumulation of toxins. But this problem is easily solved with a bit of awareness, intention and a breathing technique called kapalbhati -- "sparkling mind" in Sanskrit. The first breathing habit to cultivate is awareness of the breath.  Most people only breath from the upper portion of the lungs, but we really need to draw air in fully with the diaphragm. Take a few moments through out the day to breathe deeply. By taking in more oxygen, tissues are effectively detoxified, the mind is clarified and the nervous system is calmed -- leading to positive emotional states. Next, the kapalbhati practice. Here are the instructions according to Pure Inside Out:

"Sit in a comfortable position with spine erect…Breathe normally for about a minute. Once composed, you can begin. First, exercise the diaphragm by exhaling suddenly and quickly through both nostrils, producing a "puffing"  sound. Don't focus on inhalation. It will be automatic and passive. This exercise should be done in three rounds, each consisting of 11 strokes (for the beginner)."

Hydrate

Drinking water seems like such a basic action, yet dehydration is common. Drinking 2.2L of water (approximately 9 cups) will flush out toxins throughout the day -- helping to ease the stress put upon the kidneys and liver. It is particularly important to drink plenty of water first thing in the morning as toxins have accumulated during the night. Adding the juice of half a lemon is even better as it helps to support the liver. Chinese medicine believes that the liver is the seat of anger while the kidneys are associated with fear -- balancing these organs is important for emotional health. Purified water is crucial otherwise we are simply trading one toxin for another. Reverse osmosis is the most reliable form of water purification since it is one of the few methods that removes fluoride.

Brush

Dry skin brushing is another economical and easy way to detoxify. Dead skin cells are sloughed away, the lymphatic and immune system are stimulated while toxin harboring cellulite is reduced. A wide, long-handled natural bristle brush is all that's needed. Begin with dry skin and brush in upward strokes toward the heart. The feet are a good place to start. Brush the legs, arms, back and abdomen. It takes only 5-10 minutes to brush the entire body. Make sure to enjoy a hot shower afterwards, drink a big glass of water and breathe deeply. Your happily purified body will thank you. 

http://www.thrive-living.net/2013/07/3-simple-and-economical-methods-to.html?spref=bl

Learn more:
http://www.naturalnews.com/037050_negative_emotions_clearing_toxins.html